Honest Housewife : Daily Prayer

- Amber

Honest Housewife: Going With the Flow

Family beach trip! {sort of}

Me, Emerson{shaded}, Hunter and Shawn.

Dearest Friend,

Last week we decided to get away for a night! 

In desperate need of family time, Shawn made a call to his Grandparents who graciously blessed us with their beach house in Lincoln City for the weekend!

After the boys woke up from their morning nap on Saturday, we packed up the minivan and headed off towards the ocean. 

The Hood to Coast race was going on so we took the longer, more scenic route which actually ended up being nice to just spend that extra time with Shawn, talking and then silently taking in the beautiful creation around us. My heart began to fill with a peaceful calm that only the sights and sounds and smells of nature can bring...
Hunter and Emerson were awesome! They were happy the first hour of our drive, and then slept the last half. {it took us a little under 2 hours to get there with a brief stop for coffee}

The beach house is really more of a lake house, but it's still just a few minutes drive away from the beach. 

Well as soon as we arrived, the four of us spent time outside on their deck. Hunter and Emerson lay in the warm salty air laughing as the breeze blew across their little bodies, and gosh it felt good to be away from our home with all the responsibilities of laundry and cleaning and bills and... all of our day to day thoughts were put on hold! 

Here we basked in the wonderful hours of freedom that were before us.

The boys took another short nap and afterwards we decided to go to the outlet mall in town. I bought some cute pajamas for my babies, a cookbook for the sister in law and a t-shirt for Shawn. {I'm saving my 'personal' $'s for something special.}

Again, the boys were super chill! Hanging out, taking in the sights of a shoppers heaven and smiling/staring at all the people who passed by. Eventually they did begin to get a bit fussy when it was time to feed them, so we went back to the house for dinner and sleep, with plans to spend the next morning at the beach.

Sunday morning Emerson and Hunter were grumpy, tired and out of their element. Also, as many diapers as I had brought {I thought I grabbed too many}, it was still not enough and Shawn had to run to Safeway to pick up a pack while I stayed back with the boys since Hunter had decided to poop right after we changed him with the last diaper! 

Then it was time for a nap and if we'd stayed any longer it would have been too late to get home early like we'd wanted to and it just didn't fall into place like we'd imagined so... we didn't actually go to the beach on our beach trip. Instead, we packed everything up, piled back into our sweet ride and headed inland while the boys fell asleep to the hum of the tires, rolling us home.

Sigh... I LOVE the beach! And if you know me well, you'd know that for me to be so close, and not actually walk on the sand and hear the tide lap at the shore just inches from my toes... is absolutely crazy! 

But that morning, in making the decision to head back to Portland, I knew that I was doing right by letting go of what I initially wanted for the sanity of my family. The boys wouldn't remember it {if they'd been taken to the beach}, Shawn didn't care, and I... I could go again sometime. I'd been a thousand times before. And this super short vacation, was about my family and relaxing, not about the beach. Some other time we can dedicate to making memories while playing in the sand and jumping in the waves and flying kites and... that just wasn't for last weekend.

I definitely wanted to stand at the edge of land and sea... but with this role of Motherhood now upon me, I'm learning all the more what it is to go with the flow. 

The more willing I am to lay aside my plans, the more my mind is set at ease. Hunter and Emerson are my most important responsibilities by far!

Now is not the time to be selfish. 

At first I thought that letting go of what I wanted was such a bummer! 

But these days, I'm realizing that my letting go is actually a gift to two little children, and that's starting to feel pretty good. 

I'm learning to let go of my 'plans' or at least hold them loosely. Becoming more flexible is becoming a strength of mine rather than a weakness.

I said "no" to the beach {which again is MY FAVORITE PLACE ON EARTH!} and instead said "yes" to what my sons needed.

Still, I can't wait for the day when they get to see the ocean!

"Oregon coast, we'll be back."

For now, going with the flow and taking life one day at a time is where it's at... 

Anyway, there's a whole lot of surprise and adventure wrapped up into that kinda of living right?! You never know what you're gonna get ;)

xoxo

Living on the Edge!

Honest Housewife

Honest Housewife: Short but Sweet

Dearest Friend,
Last night the weather outside was frightful!
Frightfully warm that is!
Our sweet little babes were uncomfortably hot so the Hubs and I lay them down on our bed for a while and slowly but surely it cooled a bit and we put them back in their cribs for the evening.
With two fans blowing the warm air around their room, they slept soundly, praise Jesus!
All that to say, I didn't spend time writing to you like I normally do on Sunday nights...
And now today, I'm busy packing so I don't have anything too fancy to say at this moment either...
You all understand how life can be busy though! It's crazy sometimes!
There's a lot to do!! {we're moving this weekend and so far, I only have 2 boxes ready...}
Hunter and Emerson are napping, and it's time to get busy!

I pray you had a lovely weekend!
If you haven't yet, you should read up on all things Pink Peony Style!
So many fun summery ideas concerning all things fashion, food and home!
xoxo
Honest Housewife

Honest Housewife: In it for the long haul.

Dearest Friend,

Time flies!

This was me, at 36 weeks pregnant and about to POP!

Took these pictures on Wednesday the 28th of March thinking "HOLY COW! I'm humungous!"

I remember praying, "Okay Lord, I think I'm getting tired of growing now... These days are getting kinda slow, and I feel like a beached whale most of the time. 

Please help me to have the strength to carry these babies while they thrive in my body.

 However much longer we have together like this, I want to do it happily." sigh

I wasn't about to pray that they'd be born early...

but maybe secretly, I was.

I find it hilarious that at just the right time, as I was coming to the last of my strength, God said "Okay, We'll give you a break"... Okay, maybe that's not what He said.. and really, a break?! Twins out of the body are a lot more work than twins inside of it! :)

But the very next day, Thursday the 29th of March, I was sent to the hospital for some overnight testing, and before I knew it, Saturday the 31st was upon me and I was giving birth to the two most precious people I have ever met!

Perseverance and hope and... there was no giving up.

I had been in it for the long haul.

After 36 weeks of hard work and dedication, after 9 whole months of being patient and doing my best to care for lives that I couldn't even see, the results of my sacrifice were finally within my gaze...

It was time for that journey to end, and another to begin.

After going through pictures tonight and finding these I laughed to myself thinking of how tired I was.

Weary of walking around with that mass at my front, and knowing that there was no stop button to push, no card to draw that said "skip the pregnancy-collect your babies", I had to keep on going...

I learned in that season of life, that waiting and allowing cultivation to take it's proper course, is so much better than rushing the process and being okay with less than best.

I'm not really talking about babies anymore :)

My thoughts have shifted more to other things in life.

Like marriage and jobs and plans for the future and oh you know...

All those things that you want and don't have right now.

It felt good going through my entire pregnancy and knowing that I'd reached the finish line!

That I'd made it to the end and that the prize was perfect!

How many things can you think of that you don't finish because you don't have the patience to wait, or the drive to work hard or you're too scared?

I know I've done that plenty!!!

Now-a-days, I'm called to work hard and be patient in raising my sons to be Godly, respectable, kind hearted young men.

And this is going to take much longer than 9 months!

But I'm in it for the long haul!

There's no backing down. I will work {and whistle while doing so}, thanking God for the challenge and asking Him for the strength to see me through.

There may be sorrow at times, probably a good handful of it, but there will be joy in this journey and I'm excited to see how it ends.

Are you fighting to work hard at something these days?

Or are you struggling to not let go?

What are your thoughts! I'd love to hear them!

ps Every Monday before I post here, I promise to respond to your comments from the week before. So when you read next weeks letter, come back to your comment and I'll have sent you a bit of love.

xoxo

Honest Housewife

Honest Housewife : No longer babes

Dearest Friend,
Here's a pic of baby me and my wonderful Mama.
Hard to believe that I was once so small... No one's holding me like that anymore ;)
Step by step, day after day, we grow up, change, become people who truly affect the lives of others, either for the better or worse...
When we were younger, little babes, and children, and adolescent 'hooligans', the things we would say and do had less of an impact than they would as coming from an adult. Of course they mattered, but not to the same degree.
With years of added knowledge and age comes an expected care, consideration and awareness for the people around us.
These days, when my sweet Hunter or Emerson yell at me because they are hungry, I obviously don't get upset at them for 'treating me that way'. When they get mad or frustrated and make grumpy faces, causing all to be aware of their unhappiness, I don't take offense.
If I were to do those things, at the age of 27, I'd be absolutely embarrassed!!
But wait a second... raising my voice because I 'need' something different? I don't do that... right? Oh wait, I have done that. Am I ever so miserable with my surroundings that I make it clear to friends and family near by? No... or actually, yes...
"I'd be absolutely embarrassed".
The sad thing is, we normally don't treat strangers and acquaintances with such little respect. It's those that are closest to us. Or at least that's how it is for me.
I don't have the excuse anymore of being an infant, unable to communicate with kindness and patients.
My reason for being rude {which it's obviously not even called 'rude' when an infant acts in such a way}, is that I'm selfish, thinking of me and my desires rather than the feelings of anyone else.
The closest person to me is my Husband, and I know that there have been days where in my 'grumpiness', I take it out on him. When I'm unhappy, I don't always treat him with the love and respect that I should. Writing this, I'm realizing that I owe him an apology. Or two.
No matter whats happening, I'm responsible for my actions. Every single day, I strive to be more like Christ. Asking for Him to live through me, to love through me and to shine in a way that I can't when I'm exhausted...
But there are times where I don't let Him help me. Moments where I take over and get ugly and self focused and unpleasant. And in those hours, I tend to revert back into my immature, childlike ways and again, there is no good excuse.
I want to be a woman who treats others with a beautiful and selfless love. Setting aside my emotions and recognizing that who ever it is before me is important and deserving of a gentle word or smile.
I want to be a wife who's lips spill praise and thanksgiving rather than words of discontent.
....
There's nothing more to say really... with those last words, all I can think now is that action must follow. "I'm sorry"s are in order. This was a good reminder for me. Not sure where this all came from...
It's just spilled out as I began to type.
My Love is sleeping right now, but I plan on snuggling up to him as soon as I'm done here and telling him that I'm sorry!

Jamie, Bekkah, Alicia: Thanks for your sweet comments last Monday! All of your words meant a lot to me and I was encouraged by each of you.

Happy Monday Sweet Friends!!
Now go out there and be kind, we're not babes anymore {not an infant babe at least... babes as in good looking, that we are!}.
xoxo

Honest Housewife : Me Date

Dearest Friend,

It's 9:45 pm on Sunday night.

My babies are home sleeping and my Hubby is there watching over them.

I, on the other hand, am out. Out on a date. 

By myself...

Every other week or so I go on a 'Me Date'.

Leaving our place after the boys have gone to bed, and my Love has been fed ;)

I sit, alone, at a restaurant, order a little something to eat and I write, and pause, and pray and breath. In and out. New perspective enters, old perspective leaves.

I sit down a little tired, and walk out ready to face a hundred giants.

For some reason, memories of being 20 keep popping in my head. Random trips to the lake, college group at church/The Way, staying out late on Friday nights. Monday evenings with the sweetest of girl friends -singing praises to God and praying over one another. Wednesday morning Bible study/Romans/Josh White. Laughter. Laughter was different then. Burdens were different then. Laughter seemed lighter, and burdens seemed heavier. Oh I was a girl who flew high with the good times and sunk low in the hard. Emotional. That was me. Pursuing the Lord with passion! and healing from wounds long ago. 

This time of year, the scent of those days still lingers in the summer air. 

I remember being single, hoping to find love and a greater purpose.

Doing my best to make the most of that season, I would take all that I could learn, about marriage and children and what it was to be a Godly woman, and shove as much as possible into my heart and mind. I would listen, to those who had gone before me. I would read, the Word of God and books that explained in depth more of what His intimate message said.

Educating myself as best as I could on how to live the life that I prayed was ahead of me.

Folding baby clothes earlier today it hit me.

I am exactly where I once had so badly wanted to be. I have a husband. I have children. I am a 'stay at home wife and mom'... This is the life that I longed for. That I was working for.

Now that I'm here, making the most of this season looks a bit different. These 'Me Dates' are part of it. 

One huge aspect of taking care of what's before me, is taking time for myself. Spending time with the Lord, eating healthy, treating my body well/working out... I want to be such a strong Wife and Mother. But if I'm always pouring myself out, then I'm obviously going to run dry and fall faint and fail the 3 men placed in my care. It's a good thing God is with me everywhere I go and I have 24/7 access!! Oh how I must rely on Him!! 

Lighting a candle, opening the windows to let in a cool and refreshing breeze, always wearing perfume. Dancing to happy music, shouting "Hallelujah! Praise the Lord" when the sun comes up in the morning, meditating upon the fruits of the Spirit, doing my hair and make-up, singing...

Some of these things might sounds silly to you, but it's easy to lose yourself when your primary focus in life is others, like a Husband and now 2 sons!! These 'silly' things are happy things for me. And doing them fans the flame in my heart.

My Love does a perfect job of letting me get out when I need to. Evenings or weekends. 30 minutes or 2 hours. We've found a steady balance and for the most part, all of our needs are being met.

I am thankful for the blessings and answered prayers that I walk within. 

Sometimes I miss those single days of absolute freedom.

But then I laugh! The entire time that I was there, I was wishing to be here.

Never mind... These days are a thousand times better than those. 

Because today is exactly where God has me.

20 was a great year!!! Oh it was!

and now 27 is just as good!! It's better... but it's not. 

The times are different and equally exciting. 

Hopefully I'm making sense of all this...

It's past my bedtime ;)

Remember to take time to pursue what's on your heart dear friend.

God made you with special desires and likings and if you let go of them... 

Well then don't you somehow let go of who you're supposed to be?

Who He would want you to be. 

Being you in a unique way, bearing His wonderful image and shining in a way only you can.

So go light a candle. Paint a picture or talk to a stranger. What ever makes your heart beat the way you know it was meant to beat, do that. Whatever brings you closer to God, as silly as it may be.

Make the most of this season.

Alright, I'm losing my ability to edit where all this is going.

Moms get tired quickly {this I am learning... laid down on my bed the other day, praise Jesus Shawn was home, and fell asleep in a few seconds! I didn't even know I was tired!}

That being said, before I fall asleep on this laptop and post a silly letter, I'm saying Au Revoir!

Have a fabulous week Darlings!

xoxo

Honest and Happy Housewife

Honest Housewife: Now is The Time

Dearest Friend,
This week I read to my sons of days long ago,
How land was formed and animals created.
They heard of Adam and Eve and the birds and the sea. And we observed, as we sat beneath the sky and the trees, that indeed, God had done an incredible thing when He spoke the earth into being.

We spend as many moments outside as possible. Sharing smiles and spreading laughter...
Both Hunter and Emerson love to talk. {Really, being 3 months old, their talking is just a 'babble', but still, they love to communicate}. As I read to them from The Jesus Storybook Bible both boys lit up, staring inquisitively at the colorful pages and responding with smiles as I pointed to the vast blue sky above, telling them it was the same matter that God has made many years ago.

...I wonder who my handsome little men will grow up to be... How will they shine Jesus and what parts of His character will they naturally take on...
And then I begin to wonder, "How am I showing Hunter and Emerson the love of God today, that they would know it, and pass it on to others in time...
Am I showing them what it is to be attentive to others needs, and joy, or peace that passes all understanding?...
Are they getting to know Jesus? As they get to know me? Oh I pray that they are!
My heart is to speak the name of Jesus often in our home! Telling my babes that this or that is from Him, or like Him, or not...
Though they are young, it's never too early to share Truth with them!
And that causes me to wonder...
Are we always waiting for the perfect moment to share Christ and His Truth with others?
Waiting till we think that they'd actually get it? Waiting for the time when they would finally be in a place of accepting Him??
NOW IS THE TIME! Is it not?
Silly too that we skirt around really truly sharing Jesus, and instead we love and comfort and encourage, but never speak His name.
It's more sad than silly.
Jesus died for us!
-----------------------------------------------------------
My computer battery is dying and I need to get some sleep before I feed these babes of mine again.
Let's love not just for the sake of love this week, but because Jesus loves! And as we do so, let's share with those around us that it's Christ's love that deserves the praise... our kindness should lead always to Him.

Dear Sisters and Friends, I love you!
Thank you for shining the Lords love and encouragement into my life over the last few months as these new babies have entered my world.
Your words are so very uplifting.
Happy Monday Lovelies!
xoxo
Amber - The Honest Housewife

Honest Housewife : Incredible Outlet

Dearest Friend,

Writing has been such an incredible outlet for me over the years.

At the age of twelve I began penning my thoughts, filling up journals, scribbling on napkins, seeing every sheet of blank paper as a canvas to tell a story upon.

When I was younger, I wrote primarily about my parents and their splitting up.

While pouring my heart out across the pages of each decoupaged notebook, a space of comfort and safety was discovered.

As the pen spoke, the paper listened.

June 4^th 1998

Age 13

“Sometimes I’m so scared I curl up in a ball and cry in the dark. I’m so scared about what my life will turn out to be. At night when I’m sad {Dad used to rub my back}, I lay in bed thinking of Gods warmth all around me, and Him looking over me.

So scared- No peace-

God please help me, AmberDawn, to learn more about You-

Help me to be strong with Your help-

Oh God, I need You!”

With no judgment, and no attempt to encourage or figure things out, my ‘diaries’ became the first place that I went to with the weights and struggles of each day.

It was here too, that I started to lean on the Lord.

Years passed by, and I began to trust people with the cares of my heart…

Journaling morphed far more into prayers and conversation with God. Too, there was a new appreciation for creation, for beauty and love… I began to give myself over to love, to trust in it. Before, fear crippled much of my desires, but the year 2003 changed all that {Australia was good to me}.

Quickly, journals were filled and carried within them poems and songs and descriptions of the magic that surrounded.

June 6^th 2003

Age18

“I am a child of God.

A loved child.

He wants to know me,

Hold me.

He will always take care of me.

He’s waiting at my side all day long.

And into the night,

He watches me sleep,

And He protects me.

Nothing could ever separate us.

Never will I go a moment

Unseen in His eyes.”

It’s so special to look back and see how God has walked with me through out each step of this journey.

July 7^th 2008

Age 23

“Lord, I praise You for what You’ve done with me. I would have never imagined my life to be here… I had never thought it would be so good. For years there seemed to be so much brokenness and pain, but now I am able to see all of the beauty and joy that’s come from it. Thank You for allowing me to see through Your eyes. Thank You for allowing me to feel with Your heart. Thank You for Your wisdom…

Lord I love You! I’m sorry for not praising You as often as I should.

You deserve all glory and honor! It’s crazy when I actually think about the fact that you are the same God as the God of Abraham… David… Paul… And You are with me!”

… That first journal entry was from 15 years ago! The second 10 years, and this last one 4 years ago.

These days I don’t spend as much time writing within notebooks and on college ruled paper… instead, I type my fingers away here at the computer. I do have a special little book that I fill with intimate prayers, but other than that, I share my day to day and thoughts about it, within the world of blogging.

The safety of keeping my thoughts to myself and to paper isn’t so important anymore.

I feel safe sharing with others. And it feels good to know that I’m not alone. There’s community here, and I don’t have to hide.

K, I’m off to get some snuggles from my babies!

Sincerely,

Amber Dawn

-image via amber

Honest Housewife : Burden of Perfection

Dearest Friend,

4 shirts, 3 tanktops, 2 bras, 1 skirt, 1 robe, 1cardigan, a pair of pants, a water bottle and a magazine all sit in a pile against the wall in my bathroom…

Let’s not even address the one next to my bed! {It’s about 3-4x’s the size}

“I’m such a slob”, plays through my mind. “Really Amber, is this the kind of woman that you want to be? Is this the kind of wife that you want to be?!”

Battling thoughts like this is a regular occurrence for me.

I’m the girl who wants to do it all! I’d like to be Superwoman and defeat the many tasks that are set before me {or rather that I place before myself!}.

This is what I think: {I have a feeling that writing all this out might reveal, even to myself, how silly I am}.

I should always meet the needs of both Emerson and Hunter, feeding, bathing {they should never go too long without being bathed} hugging each and investing in their every waking moment.

I should always be able to make my Husband lunch each day, and have dinner ready when he comes home. I should write him love letters too and send them off with him in the morning.

I should always have a clean house. Spotless kitchen, vacuumed and dusted living room, keep bathrooms clean {deep clean!}, my room should always be wonderfully put together, as well as the rest of our home. Nothing left out that doesn’t need to be out. Everything should have a place and be found within its place rather than sitting on surfaces they don’t belong.

I should always be ready for the day. Looking pretty, ladylike and classy, no matter what. Curled hair, painted nails, shaved legs, blushed cheeks and smelling heavenly.

I should always eat well, be fit and take care of my body.

I should always cook healthy meals.

I should make sure that my families finances our in order, taking care of where we spend our every dollar and budgeting out our future.

I should drink more water.

I should drink less coffee.

I should encourage my Husband a lot!

I should find a way to serve my community.

I should find time for myself, reading, writing, listening to music and dancing.

I should be more care free, go on adventures more often, be more like I was when I was younger.

I should…

My brain just pooped out. I’m not enjoying this! And thinking about all the things I place upon my shoulders creates a massive awareness of… of how much I want to be perfect. Oh it’s heavy and ugly and I can’t do it. I can’t bear the burden of perfection like this.

Aside from spilling my thoughts out to you, there isn’t much more to say right now…

As long as I can remember, my journals have been filled with to do lists and ways in which to improve and things that should be accomplished… Many of them were never done, and some are still things I’m working on after 10 years. I know that I strive to be more than I need to be, and every day I do my best to let go of unrealistic expectations, but at the same time, doing things that are important and balancing the two in a healthy way.

This will be a continual topic here within the letters that I write to you.

How I’m letting go of some ‘tasks’ and also how I’m accomplishing others.

It’s not that I think my goals are bad, I just have to let go of being able to do them all all the time.

Feeding the Hubs is one of my aims this week. I’ve written up a menu, purchased the necessary groceries, and I’m excited to have meals prepared for when he gets off work. {Crockpots are from heaven I’m sure of it!}

The other is my own health. I need to figure out how to eat during the days when I’m busy thinking about babies and ‘chores’. Also, I’ll be starting up some form of exercise routine now that my children have entered the world and are no longer adding a gazillion extra pounds to my mid section! This girl is ready to MOVE!

Thanks for letting me share my silly thoughts!

I am learning to take things in strides.

Sincerely,

Amber Dawn

-image via amber

Honest Housewife : The Fight of a Lifetime

Dearest Friend,

Yesterday, as I stood staring at myself in the mirror, I could clearly see the different marks of Motherhood that graced my face.

Mascara smeared across each cheek, small dark circles had found their place beneath my eyes, and my hair, normally curled with a good amount of volume was flat and sadly limp.

Oddly enough, this sight brought a great deal of joy to my heart.

I am in the trenches! In the thick of an all consuming mission, and these ‘battle wounds’ say that I’m fighting, working hard and rising to the challenge of a lifetime!

It’s incredibly overwhelming and has the potential to be defeating, or absolutely empowering.

The role of a Mother is not one to take lightly. We live, breath, eat and sleep around the world of our children.

We strive to raise a new generation; one better than the last, and there isn’t a set guidebook in doing so. We’re going off of intuition, off of the way we were raised, and soaking in wisdom from those who have gone before us, tweaking things just a bit here and there as we see fit.

These last couple months have put my character to the test. Do I have what it takes? Will I make the cut? Oh wait! I don’t have a choice… and that is for me, where I muster up strength and find the courage to face each day.

God has given this to me. He believes in me and trusts that I can handle it.

Luckily, He doesn’t leave me high and dry. Instead, He is ever present and it is to Him alone that I cling.

From the Lord flows love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I need every single one of these to fill me on a daily basis, for I know that the absence of them brings misery.

In raising children, as well as in my marriage, I must rely on God to show me how to do things appropriately.

Gosh, I want to be such a loving and selfless Mother. And I also want to be a compassionate and joyful Wife.

Those times in life, where what’s before us seams rather daunting and we struggle to find the endurance to carry on, we must go back to God. From the moment any task, mission or challenge presents itself to us, we have to start off with God as our primary source of strength.

Sadly, it’s not always our first thought to turn to Him. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll quickly find your stamina running dry when you attempt to walk forward without His presence…

Over time, I have found little ways to place myself in a situation of continual reliance upon the Lord, and that’s what I wanted to share with you today.

1.     Sing! All day, everyday. Sing songs of love and of undying devotion to the God who so magically created you.

2.     Pray! All day, everyday. Talk to Him. Out loud. In the car, while doing dishes, and within the quiet of your heart while sitting with friends.

3.     Praise! All day, everyday. While you pray, praise God for every single tiny little blessing!! For ‘every good and perfect gift is from above’.

I wasn’t made to live without Him, and neither were you… When I spend my time talking to Him, singing to Him and thanking Him for my life, the world begins to find a pleasant balance… All is as it should be.

My children will cry, and waves of frustration will sweep through my being at times… but it’s easy to push past the breakers and swim again in the calm of it all when God is stability.

Let Him be your Rock, and watch what happens. See how much farther you’ll go.

… Honestly, in writing to you, I’m beginning to see different areas of my own life that need to be surrendered to God. Primarily within my marriage as it’s been shocked into a world of new babies and new routine… The Hubs and I are not in a place of familiarity, and I could really use the Lords help in learning how to be the best Wife to him these days…

So that’s where I’m headed, to spend time drawing near to God and asking for His help. He has called me into this relationship, blessed me with the role of Wife, and is full of awesome wisdom as to how to thrive here.

I will return soon, and write to you once again.

Sincerely,

Amber Dawn

-image via amber

Honest Housewife : Dearest Friend

Dearest Friend,

My heart beats with excitement and I am thrilled to be in a place of sharing life with you. We are at the beginning of a very beautiful relationship. I just know it!  My prayer is that honesty would connect us here and that there would be no walls between you and I.

Just like you, I am a Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mother and Friend. Maybe we don’t share all of the same roles, but within at least one of these realms we do.

Here’s a brief resume of sorts… Just so you can have a better feel for who it is that you’re getting to know.

First and foremost, I am a passionate believer in Jesus Christ and have been as long as I can remember.

I am 27 years old, and live in the beautiful state of Oregon.

And while Oregon is currently my home, I have had the joy of living about a third of my life overseas. {in Europe, Africa & Australia}

The oldest of three, I have a younger sister and brother who are very dear to me.

Though I come from a broken home, it has been mended in its own way, and I am still close with both of my parents.

It has been two and a half years since My Love and I said, “I do”.

Hubby works as an attorney, while I stay at home working to take care of our family.

On March 31^st of this year I gave birth to two handsome baby boys.

Known for my big heart, I think it somehow managed to get even bigger now that they’re around!

Aside from Bible College, I have no big degree or piece of paper to prove some lofty education.

The small certifications under my belt are these…

I’ve had Ministry and Leadership training from Bible College.

Went through an intense Equipped To Care counseling course.

I am a certified Montessori pre-school teacher.

First Aid and CPR certified.

I’ve obtained my Food Handlers permit.

And I am a proud published poet {one little poem from the 8^th grade}.

I’m pretty much a big shot, right?!

Really, I’m just your average young woman, doing my best to live according to Gods design. I make mistakes and sometimes don’t even learn from them until much later.

I like pretty things and get distracted by the many day-dreams that flood my mind.

It’s 10:23pm right now, and both of my boys are sleeping soundly in their cribs while I’m out on the living room couch, writing to you and wondering when they’ll wake up to eat again.

… Being a woman is tough. What with all the shoes we fill on a daily basis, it’s no wonder we’re known to cry far more often then men do! Cleaning, cooking, managing finances, decorating, preparing, teaching, encouraging… the list goes on and on and on.

As much as our lives get busy and packed with a thousand and one different things, it is so very rewarding! Yes, I’m tired, and my body feels a bit run down {I haven’t slept a full night in 6 weeks-I haven’t even slept a full 4 hours in 6 weeks!}, but still, I am more than ever, glad to be alive, and because of my sacrifice for these boys, I get the privilege of knowing a new depth of love.

So again, I write to you with the hope that honesty would connect us.

You will read of my bad days, and my good. I’m not perfect, not in the slightest!

But I do my best to rise above grumbling and complaining and face life with gratitude in my heart.

God has given me life, and I want so very much to thrive in it!

Thanks for listening!

I pray that this letter finds you well.

Sincerely,

Amber Dawn

-image via amber

Life :: Learning To Rest

{Taken from yesterday's run.}

Cracking open the bedroom door and peeking out into the dim living room, I made my way to the kitchen.  Peace.  The sound of an occasional car passing and slight whimpers from my little Blakely {reminding me that he'd like to pay the lawn a visit} but aside from that, quiet filled the room.  A sweet quiet.  One I know not every season will allow in the morning, and for that, I am grateful.  Enveloped in the silence, I pop a piece of bread into the toaster, fill the kettle with fresh water and grab a banana.  Life is good.  I'm adjusting to this season of no agenda - this too, may not last long.  A few things on my schedule for the afternoon, but my morning is free and I am going to relish it.  Soaking up every last second, like grass after a spring shower, I make my way back to the bedroom and return to the warm, disheveled sheets I emerged from.

In my Florida days, I would have felt guilty for a morning like this, but not today.  No, today is different - I'm ok with pj's till noon {on a week day, mind you}.  After lots of wondering, dreaming, scheming, planning, praying, I'm ok with just existing.  Existing and allowing my heart to find rest after a long season of unrest.  The perfectionist in me disagrees with this, but all perfection aside, my God designed me to need rest.  I need rest.  I'm not talking about a good night's sleep, or a long Sunday afternoon nap kind of rest.  This is soul-deep rest.  Rest created and not just fallen into.  Rest that will allow a heart to just be.  

I cannot tell you how uneasy I am with this - just existing is terribly difficult.  But I'm bettering myself, my home, my marriage, my friendships, & my spirit with it.  I'm being restored & rejuvenated by it and I know I'll come out more beautiful and radiant once my resting season is complete.  To be totally honest with you, I'm not sure why I'm sharing this intimate moment with the world wide web, but something tells me I'm not the only one who troubles with finding {and making time for} true, undisturbed rest.  

I still have plenty on my to-do list for the day....cleaning house, running errands, dr's apt, preparing dinner for a guest this evening, etc.  But despite my ever growing list, I'm here, in this moment of quiet and I want my heart to get the most of it.  

I'm reminded of the story of Mary & Martha - I think of these two women often.  I've been called "Martha" a time or two in my life {referring to Martha Stewart}, while that is certainly a high compliment in many cases, I take on the role of Martha far too often.  For those not familiar with the Mary & Martha, I was first referring to - they are two women, sisters actually, found in a short story in the book of Luke {Luke 10:38-42}.  Their story may be brief, but it's one that speaks volumes to my heart on days like today.  

Martha {the homeowner} finds herself entertaining Jesus.  She does what any homemaker would, she busies herself in the kitchen and bustles about the house, making sure that every flower is in place, every roll buttered and every pillow fluffed.  She's the entertainer.  Her sister, Mary, takes a different approach to entertainment and decides to truly enjoy the company of their guest.  She sits at His feet, hanging on His every word.  Martha, exasperated and frustrated {as I would be if my sister were merely enjoying guests in my house}, makes a complaint to Jesus - "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?  Therefore tell her to help me."  I'm sure you could hear a pin drop at this point.  I imagine the tension she's created between herself and her sister is thick, and believe me - no one wants to interrupt a sister squabble.  This is His response, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. {Aren't we as women???  Thinking about too much at once.}  But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."  {vs 41-42}  I can imagine Martha was a bit stunned by His words - they may have even stoked the fire burning within her, but I'm sure, as we women do, she considered them.  I'm sure she thought over this for days after, and I hope that she learned to rest.  

Friends.  Sisters, we need to rest, no matter how inconvenient it may be, our spirits need it.  We need that soul-deep rest, that refills and refreshes us so that we may be better wives, sisters, daughters, mommies {husbands, dads, guys - you need it too}.  It's ok to just exist, even if that time is short.  I encourage you to find that today, tomorrow and every day after.  Some of those moments may be longer than others, but relish them.  "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." {Matthew 11:28}

Lots of love....

- images via danya collyer