Honest Housewife: In it for the long haul.

Dearest Friend,

Time flies!

This was me, at 36 weeks pregnant and about to POP!

Took these pictures on Wednesday the 28th of March thinking "HOLY COW! I'm humungous!"

I remember praying, "Okay Lord, I think I'm getting tired of growing now... These days are getting kinda slow, and I feel like a beached whale most of the time. 

Please help me to have the strength to carry these babies while they thrive in my body.

 However much longer we have together like this, I want to do it happily." sigh

I wasn't about to pray that they'd be born early...

but maybe secretly, I was.

I find it hilarious that at just the right time, as I was coming to the last of my strength, God said "Okay, We'll give you a break"... Okay, maybe that's not what He said.. and really, a break?! Twins out of the body are a lot more work than twins inside of it! :)

But the very next day, Thursday the 29th of March, I was sent to the hospital for some overnight testing, and before I knew it, Saturday the 31st was upon me and I was giving birth to the two most precious people I have ever met!

Perseverance and hope and... there was no giving up.

I had been in it for the long haul.

After 36 weeks of hard work and dedication, after 9 whole months of being patient and doing my best to care for lives that I couldn't even see, the results of my sacrifice were finally within my gaze...

It was time for that journey to end, and another to begin.

After going through pictures tonight and finding these I laughed to myself thinking of how tired I was.

Weary of walking around with that mass at my front, and knowing that there was no stop button to push, no card to draw that said "skip the pregnancy-collect your babies", I had to keep on going...

I learned in that season of life, that waiting and allowing cultivation to take it's proper course, is so much better than rushing the process and being okay with less than best.

I'm not really talking about babies anymore :)

My thoughts have shifted more to other things in life.

Like marriage and jobs and plans for the future and oh you know...

All those things that you want and don't have right now.

It felt good going through my entire pregnancy and knowing that I'd reached the finish line!

That I'd made it to the end and that the prize was perfect!

How many things can you think of that you don't finish because you don't have the patience to wait, or the drive to work hard or you're too scared?

I know I've done that plenty!!!

Now-a-days, I'm called to work hard and be patient in raising my sons to be Godly, respectable, kind hearted young men.

And this is going to take much longer than 9 months!

But I'm in it for the long haul!

There's no backing down. I will work {and whistle while doing so}, thanking God for the challenge and asking Him for the strength to see me through.

There may be sorrow at times, probably a good handful of it, but there will be joy in this journey and I'm excited to see how it ends.

Are you fighting to work hard at something these days?

Or are you struggling to not let go?

What are your thoughts! I'd love to hear them!

ps Every Monday before I post here, I promise to respond to your comments from the week before. So when you read next weeks letter, come back to your comment and I'll have sent you a bit of love.

xoxo

Honest Housewife

Honest Housewife : Me Date

Dearest Friend,

It's 9:45 pm on Sunday night.

My babies are home sleeping and my Hubby is there watching over them.

I, on the other hand, am out. Out on a date. 

By myself...

Every other week or so I go on a 'Me Date'.

Leaving our place after the boys have gone to bed, and my Love has been fed ;)

I sit, alone, at a restaurant, order a little something to eat and I write, and pause, and pray and breath. In and out. New perspective enters, old perspective leaves.

I sit down a little tired, and walk out ready to face a hundred giants.

For some reason, memories of being 20 keep popping in my head. Random trips to the lake, college group at church/The Way, staying out late on Friday nights. Monday evenings with the sweetest of girl friends -singing praises to God and praying over one another. Wednesday morning Bible study/Romans/Josh White. Laughter. Laughter was different then. Burdens were different then. Laughter seemed lighter, and burdens seemed heavier. Oh I was a girl who flew high with the good times and sunk low in the hard. Emotional. That was me. Pursuing the Lord with passion! and healing from wounds long ago. 

This time of year, the scent of those days still lingers in the summer air. 

I remember being single, hoping to find love and a greater purpose.

Doing my best to make the most of that season, I would take all that I could learn, about marriage and children and what it was to be a Godly woman, and shove as much as possible into my heart and mind. I would listen, to those who had gone before me. I would read, the Word of God and books that explained in depth more of what His intimate message said.

Educating myself as best as I could on how to live the life that I prayed was ahead of me.

Folding baby clothes earlier today it hit me.

I am exactly where I once had so badly wanted to be. I have a husband. I have children. I am a 'stay at home wife and mom'... This is the life that I longed for. That I was working for.

Now that I'm here, making the most of this season looks a bit different. These 'Me Dates' are part of it. 

One huge aspect of taking care of what's before me, is taking time for myself. Spending time with the Lord, eating healthy, treating my body well/working out... I want to be such a strong Wife and Mother. But if I'm always pouring myself out, then I'm obviously going to run dry and fall faint and fail the 3 men placed in my care. It's a good thing God is with me everywhere I go and I have 24/7 access!! Oh how I must rely on Him!! 

Lighting a candle, opening the windows to let in a cool and refreshing breeze, always wearing perfume. Dancing to happy music, shouting "Hallelujah! Praise the Lord" when the sun comes up in the morning, meditating upon the fruits of the Spirit, doing my hair and make-up, singing...

Some of these things might sounds silly to you, but it's easy to lose yourself when your primary focus in life is others, like a Husband and now 2 sons!! These 'silly' things are happy things for me. And doing them fans the flame in my heart.

My Love does a perfect job of letting me get out when I need to. Evenings or weekends. 30 minutes or 2 hours. We've found a steady balance and for the most part, all of our needs are being met.

I am thankful for the blessings and answered prayers that I walk within. 

Sometimes I miss those single days of absolute freedom.

But then I laugh! The entire time that I was there, I was wishing to be here.

Never mind... These days are a thousand times better than those. 

Because today is exactly where God has me.

20 was a great year!!! Oh it was!

and now 27 is just as good!! It's better... but it's not. 

The times are different and equally exciting. 

Hopefully I'm making sense of all this...

It's past my bedtime ;)

Remember to take time to pursue what's on your heart dear friend.

God made you with special desires and likings and if you let go of them... 

Well then don't you somehow let go of who you're supposed to be?

Who He would want you to be. 

Being you in a unique way, bearing His wonderful image and shining in a way only you can.

So go light a candle. Paint a picture or talk to a stranger. What ever makes your heart beat the way you know it was meant to beat, do that. Whatever brings you closer to God, as silly as it may be.

Make the most of this season.

Alright, I'm losing my ability to edit where all this is going.

Moms get tired quickly {this I am learning... laid down on my bed the other day, praise Jesus Shawn was home, and fell asleep in a few seconds! I didn't even know I was tired!}

That being said, before I fall asleep on this laptop and post a silly letter, I'm saying Au Revoir!

Have a fabulous week Darlings!

xoxo

Honest and Happy Housewife

Honest Housewife: Now is The Time

Dearest Friend,
This week I read to my sons of days long ago,
How land was formed and animals created.
They heard of Adam and Eve and the birds and the sea. And we observed, as we sat beneath the sky and the trees, that indeed, God had done an incredible thing when He spoke the earth into being.

We spend as many moments outside as possible. Sharing smiles and spreading laughter...
Both Hunter and Emerson love to talk. {Really, being 3 months old, their talking is just a 'babble', but still, they love to communicate}. As I read to them from The Jesus Storybook Bible both boys lit up, staring inquisitively at the colorful pages and responding with smiles as I pointed to the vast blue sky above, telling them it was the same matter that God has made many years ago.

...I wonder who my handsome little men will grow up to be... How will they shine Jesus and what parts of His character will they naturally take on...
And then I begin to wonder, "How am I showing Hunter and Emerson the love of God today, that they would know it, and pass it on to others in time...
Am I showing them what it is to be attentive to others needs, and joy, or peace that passes all understanding?...
Are they getting to know Jesus? As they get to know me? Oh I pray that they are!
My heart is to speak the name of Jesus often in our home! Telling my babes that this or that is from Him, or like Him, or not...
Though they are young, it's never too early to share Truth with them!
And that causes me to wonder...
Are we always waiting for the perfect moment to share Christ and His Truth with others?
Waiting till we think that they'd actually get it? Waiting for the time when they would finally be in a place of accepting Him??
NOW IS THE TIME! Is it not?
Silly too that we skirt around really truly sharing Jesus, and instead we love and comfort and encourage, but never speak His name.
It's more sad than silly.
Jesus died for us!
-----------------------------------------------------------
My computer battery is dying and I need to get some sleep before I feed these babes of mine again.
Let's love not just for the sake of love this week, but because Jesus loves! And as we do so, let's share with those around us that it's Christ's love that deserves the praise... our kindness should lead always to Him.

Dear Sisters and Friends, I love you!
Thank you for shining the Lords love and encouragement into my life over the last few months as these new babies have entered my world.
Your words are so very uplifting.
Happy Monday Lovelies!
xoxo
Amber - The Honest Housewife

Honest Housewife: Adventure

Dearest Friend,

Did you know that I was engaged once before marrying my husband Shawn?

True story. 

It was a silly time in my life... A proud and arrogant time, where I thought that I knew what was good for me, and that everyone else didn't.

Though it was a brief and very short relationship/engagement, it changed and fueled the rest of my world in a pretty big way.

The guy I was engaged to lived in a van.

Yes, he lived in his van.

He spent his time working with his hands, surfing, sitting with the homeless and listening to their stories... He long boarded, wore board shorts and flip flops everywhere he went and wasn't afraid to try anything. I remember one time he bought wind surfing equipment and took it out to try without a single lesson or know how.

And what I saw, was ADVENTURE! 

One day, after only a total of 3 months together {and already being engaged}, I realized that this man was not who I should bind myself to in holy matrimony!

What I was attracted to and craved, was his unabashed way of tackling all that was before him.

I wanted to be that way! Spend my life, living within the depths of adventure! 

ADVENTURE

An unusual, daring and exciting experience or activity.

The exploration of unknown territory.

The description alone gets me all giddy! My head begins to spin with ideas of potential adventures and a happy nostalgia takes me to grand adventures past.

What I learned after that silly season was this:

I long for adventure, YES! Oh how I do! and have for as long as I can remember!

When I met this young man, I thought that I had found what I had been waiting for...

In my mind at the time, it seemed that he was living his life the way that I was wanting to live mine.

Free from many of the worlds cares, tied to few possessions and making the most of very little 'means'.

That's adventure after all, right?

I had no idea that there were so so so many other ways of experiencing adventure.

The first thing, I came to terms with {aside from my pride and need to listen to others discernment}, was that I want adventure with the Lord! 

Look back at the definition of adventure and think about God... It fits doesn't it?! Faith is an adventure. It's the biggest adventure!!

{This topic alone is one that I could elaborate upon for hours! And I just might come back to it in another letter}

No matter where I went, or who I was with, or what circumstances were around me, I could be standing in the midst of 'unknown territory'. It wasn't something that I had to seek out. God and all that He is, in His faithful presence, was something that I could dive into at all times! And Seriously!! it's the most daring and exciting experience ever!!! 

You know what else is an adventure?

Marriage. Oy is marriage an adventure?!! Look at the definition again! Totally fits, right!

Family! That's a crazy adventure!

Having a family! Yep, that's one too!

Friends, the future, your commute to work!!

New Perspective... Even if I never travel to another foreign land ever again {such a scary thought!}, I can still live within the depths of adventure! 

I don't have to chase fireflies, or stand upon the sands of faraway tides, or hear the language of unknown tongues, or wear the same two outfits and dumpster dive for my food {never had the desire to do that last one... just f.y.i.} ~ There are a thousand different "unusual, daring and exciting experiences" all around me! "Un-kown territory to explore" is just beyond my door! Heck, it's even within my own home! 

Being a new Mother, with a heart that beats super duper strongly after adventure, I have spent a lot of time thinking up a thousand and one different ways that I can introduce my sons to it!

And again {yes, I start sentences with And} I've come to the place of remembering that adventure isn't going to be just flying a kite at the top of a windy hill, or catching insects and doing only what little boys do with them. Adventure is getting to know God! Oh how I cannot wait to talk with them about how wonderful their Creator is!! This is something I do on a daily basis already, but it'll be so neat to hear their hearts for Him!

I want to teach them about the adventure of caring for others. I want to share with them the adventure that it is to love their Daddy. Of course we will love him in our own ways, but to go above and beyond in all that we do, making the most of our time and working hard to see those around us flourish as we shine Jesus!... That's adventure!!!

So go live your life friend! Live it and realize/know that today will never happen again! It has never happened before!! You are in the midst of adventure! Stand tall, walk with bravery and let your mind and heart fall into excitement as you recognize that you can make the most out of what's before you! Conquer it! That's what we do with adventure! We face it, and we thrive as it's defeated! Rest your head upon your pillow at night and smile. You were great today! {Just be sure not to forget that God is your Tour Guide. He can show you where and how to walk. And He will keep you safe and protected when things are difficult and you doubt the shaky ground beneath your feet. He's the Best!}

xoxo

Amber ~ aka Honest House Wife

I'd love to hear how you see adventure in your every day?!

Honest Housewife : The Fight of a Lifetime

Dearest Friend,

Yesterday, as I stood staring at myself in the mirror, I could clearly see the different marks of Motherhood that graced my face.

Mascara smeared across each cheek, small dark circles had found their place beneath my eyes, and my hair, normally curled with a good amount of volume was flat and sadly limp.

Oddly enough, this sight brought a great deal of joy to my heart.

I am in the trenches! In the thick of an all consuming mission, and these ‘battle wounds’ say that I’m fighting, working hard and rising to the challenge of a lifetime!

It’s incredibly overwhelming and has the potential to be defeating, or absolutely empowering.

The role of a Mother is not one to take lightly. We live, breath, eat and sleep around the world of our children.

We strive to raise a new generation; one better than the last, and there isn’t a set guidebook in doing so. We’re going off of intuition, off of the way we were raised, and soaking in wisdom from those who have gone before us, tweaking things just a bit here and there as we see fit.

These last couple months have put my character to the test. Do I have what it takes? Will I make the cut? Oh wait! I don’t have a choice… and that is for me, where I muster up strength and find the courage to face each day.

God has given this to me. He believes in me and trusts that I can handle it.

Luckily, He doesn’t leave me high and dry. Instead, He is ever present and it is to Him alone that I cling.

From the Lord flows love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I need every single one of these to fill me on a daily basis, for I know that the absence of them brings misery.

In raising children, as well as in my marriage, I must rely on God to show me how to do things appropriately.

Gosh, I want to be such a loving and selfless Mother. And I also want to be a compassionate and joyful Wife.

Those times in life, where what’s before us seams rather daunting and we struggle to find the endurance to carry on, we must go back to God. From the moment any task, mission or challenge presents itself to us, we have to start off with God as our primary source of strength.

Sadly, it’s not always our first thought to turn to Him. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll quickly find your stamina running dry when you attempt to walk forward without His presence…

Over time, I have found little ways to place myself in a situation of continual reliance upon the Lord, and that’s what I wanted to share with you today.

1.     Sing! All day, everyday. Sing songs of love and of undying devotion to the God who so magically created you.

2.     Pray! All day, everyday. Talk to Him. Out loud. In the car, while doing dishes, and within the quiet of your heart while sitting with friends.

3.     Praise! All day, everyday. While you pray, praise God for every single tiny little blessing!! For ‘every good and perfect gift is from above’.

I wasn’t made to live without Him, and neither were you… When I spend my time talking to Him, singing to Him and thanking Him for my life, the world begins to find a pleasant balance… All is as it should be.

My children will cry, and waves of frustration will sweep through my being at times… but it’s easy to push past the breakers and swim again in the calm of it all when God is stability.

Let Him be your Rock, and watch what happens. See how much farther you’ll go.

… Honestly, in writing to you, I’m beginning to see different areas of my own life that need to be surrendered to God. Primarily within my marriage as it’s been shocked into a world of new babies and new routine… The Hubs and I are not in a place of familiarity, and I could really use the Lords help in learning how to be the best Wife to him these days…

So that’s where I’m headed, to spend time drawing near to God and asking for His help. He has called me into this relationship, blessed me with the role of Wife, and is full of awesome wisdom as to how to thrive here.

I will return soon, and write to you once again.

Sincerely,

Amber Dawn

-image via amber